Responsibilities are eating me ahhhhhhlive!

Why the efffffff is everyone growing up so fast?!

Do you really want to add _________ as a friend?...

Okay. Here's the deal....

There was once this girl I used to be sooo close with. We were best friends since middle school, going into high school and basically, parted our own ways based on both our stubbornness before going into sophomore year. I can tell that both our mothers were a bit sad that we both gave up on something that took so long to build. My mom lost her mom as a friend too, y'know...

Sophomore year was a hard year for me too. Before the summer even started, my ex totally dipped out on me without even saying bye. I go to the Philippines stressed out planning a party, trying to forget my ex and oh I was also trying to have a vacation. Just one argument. I can't believe it just took one argument to break that friendship that took me so long to find and fight for. I don't know, maybe it was cause we didn't have lunch together sophomore year, which really decreased the chance of us putting our pride to the side and forgetting it. Either way, I knew that I wanted an apology cause every argument we had, I'd always have to be the bigger person and apologize, and this one time we argued, I was just waiting if she was going to clean up the mess. The mess that she made, the mess that I made having to wait for her.... The mess that WE made.

Everything's been said and done and I honestly can't regret one thing. Okay, maybe one thing. I should've just kissed and made up. Buttttttttttttttt. If it wasn't for that, I wouldn't have met the people I've met, I wouldn't have made the mistakes I've made, and I definitely wouldn't be the person I am today. All of that drama happened sophomore year and on September 4th, I'm gonna be a senior.... I remember freshman year, during lunch, we were all planning to go to prom together, and thinking about that sucks big tiiiime. I can't say I hate her, cause I really don't. I envy the fact that even though I knew I was right for waiting for her to fight for our friendship at least once, she got to keep the other girls. No one sided with me. No one tried to comfort me... I'm not cool with her, and I'm mad at her AND myself for not cleaning up that big mess. Cause of our broken friendship, it's caused me to break a lot of other friendships off. It's caused me to keep my distance, when all I wanna do is just break free and not care about crossing lines.

The other day, I saw her under People You May Know in Facebook. Shit. I don't know if I should add her. I moved on. I definitely think she did too. I'm in a complete different mindset and I know she is too. I want to add her, but at the same time, I don't want to. I don't want any of us to get the wrong reason of why I'm even having thoughts on doing this. I just wanna start fresh and clean. Like we never knew each other and hopefully get to know each other again. Everything happens for a reason... if I make this happen.. I honestly don't have a good enough reason.. I think.

Something kinder to the eyes...

Changed it up.
Painting my room, pics later.
So mannnnnnny changes on the way :]



BTW, my boyfriend is literally the best.

Somebody stop me!

So yesterday was a very sad day for me cause my one and only favorite jelly t-strap that I bought from the Gap for $10 bucks cracked on me. I had to wait until after class 'til I can go to a store and buy some kind of footwear. I was soooo freakin' frustrated. I went to the Gap website to see if they had the same t-strap for sale, since I saw a girl on the subway the morning before with a fresh pair, and guess what? It wasn't there to be found. GRRRR. Mad to say that I had to go check the Old Navy site to see if they were still selling their jelly t-straps; and they were (but I still prefer the Gap, since the design is soooo plain and everyone and their mother has the Old Navy version of it). So with that, Angie and I hopped on the 1 to 34th and there wasn't any jelly t-straps there for me =/ So I ended up buying two pairs of bikinis and a pair of their bangin' flip flops, for 40 bucks... Ehhh.

Story doesn't end there, folks. Since I couldn't buy the jellys at the store, the first thing I did when I got into the office was buy them online. This time I bought 2 pairs of jellys, and a pair of suede studded t-straps. I smiled (finally) when I found out I bought the last pairs of black jelly straps. So while I was having fun with my card in the wonderful world of online shopping, I headed straight to Urban Outfitters, and went thru their stuff and tabbed out a couple of things. The process of elimination in this part was so difficult and sad, cuz the things I was actually willing to waste money on wasn't in my size anymore. I ended up buying a pair of jelly flats and a stripped tube top. Doesn't sound much, but I killed 70 bucks.

The reason why I've been soooooooo cheap lately is cause while I could be working in the office, making money, I'm at my classes at FIT trying to learn and make sure that the school notices me, and hopefully admits me. Anyways, supplies for my classes killed about 150 of my paycheck, plus lunch, bus and subway fares only makes the hole in my pocket bigger. I gotta concentrate on my To-Buy list.

To-buy:
That Gucci piece of shit thang that's been bothering me since Spring.
Fisheye camera/lens.
Subscriptions to Nylon & MissBehave.
Clothes for 09.
One way ticket to Paris.*

To-do:
August 1st, SUNY applications for 09 opens up.
Look for more schools with my major.
Save money and buy things I need/want at a fckin' reasonable price.
(I'm gonna be half Jewish by the end of the season)
Call my mom's Benz dealer for some Fashion Week tickets.
Look up Fashion Week schedule.
Find a job in Union.
Get that NaS album.
Save enough money to afford a day off at the office and hang out with the chicas.
Slow down on the whole growing up thing.*

* = I wish.

I'm still breathing..

I want you to miss me..
Happy seven months babe.